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Hi, I'm Jasmine Nicole. Welcome to the Motivational Mystic. A space for authentic, higher conscious conversations to motivate, inspire, and empower. Thanks for listening. Each week, I'll drop a new conscious raising episode. Let's dive in. Hello everyone. Today, I want to talk about living life according to your own roles. Society puts a lot of pressure on people, especially women, to be married by a certain age, to have kids by a certain age, etc. I believe men experience the same pressure as well, to a certain extent. Men feel that pressure too, but they more so have the ability to deflect and project that pressure back onto women. They sort of have an out doing that. You hear that deflection and projection in a lot of the red pill content creators or the manospear, so to speak. And you start to recognize that the people at the forefront of those communities, oftentimes, are men who are either creeping into middle age or who are middle-aged. And they're feeling that societal pressure as well. Where they're being looked at as why don't you have a family? Why aren't you married? Why aren't you further along in life? Why haven't you settled down yet? And the stereotypical response they give is essentially to deflect onto women. I can do whatever I want to do. I'm not the one with the biological clock. I have all the time in the world. Something like that. I don't know. There's the insert whatever excuse projecting onto women they can think of, right? Men feel the pressure too though, but they're able to deflect it and not really need to answer to those same societal pressures as much as women feel the need to. And I'm here to tell you, no two women are the same. We all have different outlooks on life, opportunities, resources, and desires. So you have to live life according to your own timeline. For example, I know a lot of emphasis has been put on women to be married and have a child by a certain age, but I would say especially millennial women have really broken the mold when it comes to those expectations. I just recently read a study, and I'll provide a link to it in the show notes, that essentially said for the first time ever, women over 40 are having more children, which has surpassed teenage pregnancy rates. Actually, let me pull up the article and give some more context. A report released by the National Center for Health Statistics, NCHS, showed that U.S. fertility rates, the average number of children born to women during her reproductive years, continued its decades-long slide through 2023, with American women having an average of 1.62 children compared to 1.66 in 2021 and 2022. Overall, the rate has declined 14% since 1990, driven largely by younger women under the age of 30 who are having fewer children. For the first time in 2023, there were more births among women 40 and older than there were to teenage girls. A trend which aligns with both long-sought public health goals of decreasing teen births, while reflecting medical advancements which have allowed older women to have healthy pregnancies. Let's get to the statistics mentioned in the article here. Okay. As the average maternal age has increased, far more women ages 35 and older are also having children, according to NCHS, part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which tallies all known births in the US from 1990 to 2023. The fertility rate for women ages 35 to 39 increased 71%, and for women ages 40 to 44, the rate increased 127%. So the article goes on to explain the demographic changes and why women are delaying motherhood. And it's a good read. I recommend reading the article. But the takeaway from it is women are choosing to take control of their life trajectory and their timeline. I think a lot of millennial women are really the ones spearheading this demographic change. Because with the millennial population being one of the most educated populations in American history, millennial women have chosen to have their careers in order first. So they have something that fulfills them. Rather than having this fear of outrunning their biological clock, settling for whatever comes their way, career-wise, and making it work. I can say personally, I noticed the different dynamics within my own social circle, where the women who had children later in life seemed to be more fulfilled with their lives compared to women that I know who had children earlier in life. Because the younger ones felt that societal pressure or feared running out of time when it came to their biological clock. The women who had children earlier in life didn't seem as fulfilled. Because let's call a spade a spade. Women tend to get lost in the roles of mom and wife, where men don't really deviate. They don't really change from their core of who they are when they become husbands and fathers. They have more responsibilities, of course, but they don't really take on that primary caregiver role of taking care of the children. That's more so the mother taking on that responsibility. So I can understand why women are waiting longer to have children. They want to have something for themselves, something to hold on to their independence, a piece of themselves that they can hold on to before entering into motherhood, before becoming a wife. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Society tries to make it seem that way. These red pill communities try to make it seem that way. Because men in that community are also feeling the pressure of societal expectations as well. And people asking them, why are you banging 20-year-olds and you're like 38, dude? Like what? And I'm not bashing men, I would never use my platform to do that. Men and women need each other. I truly believe that. But I think it's necessary to have an honest conversation about this topic. Men feel that pressure, but they have the luxury of being able to deflect because they don't have that same expectation on them to hit certain milestones at a certain age. I mean, people may question and ask them, but they don't have the same societal pressure as women. But internally, from what I've noticed with people who are in that community that I know personally, most of them struggle with not being where they want to be in life or not really having the things they thought they should have by the time they're in their late 30s or 40s. And rather than just being honest with themselves and maybe course correcting, it's easier for them to blame shift and deflect to say, well, I'm not a woman, so I don't need to have those things at this point. I can do it at any time. But they still do feel that pressure to have those things. And I think a lot of them are in denial and lying to themselves about it. I think the beauty of that study I just read about women over 40 having children is that it shows that women are really being intentional and taking control of their lives. They're encouraging themselves to live life according to their timeline and not society's timeline. And I'm sorry, but let's be real here. A lot of the people in those red pill communities or the manor spear are either men who don't know how to be honest with themselves and recognize they're getting to a point of aging and feeling the pressure to a certain extent to maybe get married or have children, and they don't have those things, and they don't want to be honest with why that is. Whether they're unable to have healthy relationships with women, they're not able to be vulnerable enough with themselves to recognize it. There's a plethora of reasons. And again, I'm not gonna beat down the manospear or red pill community. That's not my intention. But I think it's important to have an honest conversation about men feeling societal pressures to hit certain milestones at certain points in life, just like women do. But each group chooses to handle it differently. It's also important to recognize who you're listening to for advice and consider the source and what you're getting your information from. I think it's a beautiful thing that women are really taking control of their life and they're taking their power back, and they're able to say no. I want more for myself before I step into motherhood, before I step into the role of a wife. Because again, women do, in my opinion. I'm not saying this is a one size fits all for all women, but in my opinion, I can even see myself falling into this scenario. Women do tend to lose a part of themselves in the role of mom and or wife. And if you have something, whether that's a career, you start your own business, even if it's just a new hobby, something that's an outlet, something that anchors you in your individuality, where you can still keep at least one foot grounded into who you are as an individual, in addition to stepping into other roles that are going to be required of you as a mom and a wife. I think it's a good thing that we're starting to see the societal expectation of women shift through these dynamics. Obviously, everyone's body is different and you want to make the best medical decisions medically necessary for you. I'm definitely not giving medical advice here for fertility, but I do implore you to make sure you know where you medically stand when it comes to your fertility and things of that nature. Which most women, if they are future forward thinking, will do. To make the best decisions for themselves in terms of what they want out of life. But I really do think it's a beautiful thing that we're starting to see women push back and say, I don't care what society says that I need to have by a certain age. I want what's best for me. And that's a beautiful thing. And I think women's self-empowerment doesn't need to be at the expense of men. You can embrace yourself and your choices, your individuality, what makes you happy. Unfortunately, that is a trend I see in the red pill or man's spare communities where the men's self-empowerment is often at the detriment or expense of women. A lot of times, people in those communities are men that never had healthy relationships and don't know how to have healthy relationships with women, or probably don't even have healthy relationships with themselves. So they have to deflect and project onto women because they don't know how to be introspective and actually look at themselves realistically. You shouldn't need to throw the opposite sex under the bus just to feel good about yourself. And that applies to both men and women. We both need each other. We do. And we all have both divine masculine and feminine components or energy within us. So this divisive societal pressure that's placed on both men and women, it is felt and possibly it can serve as a good reminder of hey, you don't want to just kind of let life pass you by. However, we also want to make sure that we're staying true to ourselves as individuals and making the best decisions for you, and not what society tells you. Not what maybe your own family is pressuring you to do. You want to do things when you are ready, and obviously you want to do things in a healthy and practical manner, where you're not putting yourself in a position where life passes you by and you can't do those things that you want to do, like have kids or settle down. You want to be mindful and make sure that you are doing what's best for you and your body, but you don't have to conform to what other people say and what they feel you need to do. You need to look out for yourself and do what's best for you. And there's nothing wrong with going against the grain. If you're going to be a first-time mom at 40, 41, 42, 43, and so on, so be it. I know plenty of women who have had children who have gotten married later in life, and they're happy. And the wonderful thing about that is you tend to notice people who have children later in life. They have more to offer a child, more resources, more time, and those people seem to live longer too. I've noticed that as well. People tend to live longer when they have someone to live for, when they have someone to stay healthy for, to raise and support. It motivates you to live a healthier lifestyle. It motivates you to make the best choices for yourself that will give you a quality life. So, I do think it's important to live life according to your timeline and not according to anyone else's. But with living life according to your timeline, be responsible within making sure that what you want and when you want it is feasible, is medically possible. No one is saying wait until your 60s to do these things. But there is someone out there for everyone. If you really want love and you really open yourself up to it, you will attract it. Get yourself ready, put yourself in a position for it. If you want to be a mom, you want to attract a partner to have a child with, make sure you're keeping yourself up. Make sure you're keeping yourself together, make sure you're keeping your body prepared to bear that child, to attract that partner. I'm a fond believer and like attracts like, so everyone wants to attract the best versions of themselves and their future partner. And you don't have to live according to anyone's expectations but your own. If you run into people who try to tell you otherwise, especially a potential significant other, maybe they're showing you signs they're not a good fit for you, right? However, that's for you to decide. But I personally think that it's best to attract someone that is on the same vibrational wavelength, that's a vibrational match, that is equally yoked with you, that has a similar outlook on life and similar mentality. But what I'm noticing in our world today is a lot of divisive rhetoric to put men and women against each other. And we've got to make sure that we're not falling victim to that. And like I mentioned before, I think it's very important to be mindful of and take inventory of who you're listening to. Are they practicing what they preach? Do they have a lifestyle that you desire? Sometimes people will just hop on a microphone and spew controversial BS for money. In other words, just talking loud and saying nothing. There's always an audience or community for something. There's a community for bullshit, to be honest, not to be taken seriously. There's a community for intelligent conversation. There's a community for everything and everyone under the sun. Sometimes it's for entertainment. Sometimes people are just BSing and seeing what works and what people flock to and continue to spew nonsense. So you just have to be mindful of the people you're seeking advice from, especially online. Do they have the lifestyle that you want? Do they have a spouse and a child? But they're telling you don't pursue a specific person or demographic because of whatever insignificant reason they can come up with in the moment. But look at them. What do they have? Do you really want to be like them? So using discernment is necessary. Hey, even with me, if you don't resonate with the things I talk about, I would implore you to not listen to me as well. I would hope you do, because you're tuning in, but if not, you know, use your discernment. What resonates with you? What sounds authentic and true. And not just for entertainment engagement, but if you're seeking information of value, when you're taking in advice and information from people trying to quote unquote give you life advice, but their life doesn't necessarily measure up to the things they're talking about. Discernment is key when looking outside of yourself, seeking answers. But in terms of just women finding their voice, they're becoming more empowered to make choices that are best for them and not buckling or folding under societal pressure. I believe that is a very powerful movement, a very powerful paradigm shift that we're starting to see, especially in American culture. I can't speak for other places, although I know I do have a very big international audience, but I can just speak from what I see from where I currently reside. There is this paradigm shift with women that I more so see in my generation spearheading it, where they are becoming more empowered. They are living life according to their own rules and not succumbing or buckling to the societal pressure that they're being told what they should and should not do or what they should and should not have by a certain age to be seen as successful, to be seen as happy or competent. You know, life is what you make it, not what other people tell you you should make it. So I believe just seeing this societal demographic shift with women taking more of their power back and wanting more for themselves before entering into these other stages of life that will require more of them and may essentially put them in a position where they have to spread themselves thin. I don't see an issue with this change where they want to keep one foot anchored in their own individuality before taking on these additional roles that will require a lot of them. So here's to women empowerment. Um I love seeing that this is happening and it can happen safely and successfully. Obviously, like I said before, you want to make sure that you are doing things under the care of a medical professional and you are doing things practically where you know exactly where you stand, what you can and cannot do, what your body can and cannot do and handle based off of your own medical situation. But other than that, you know, here's to breaking societal norms and creating new ones according to what is in your best interest and not under the expectation of anyone else. Well, that's all I have for today, everyone. I am gonna be going on vacation for a few weeks, so during that time, obviously it'd be great to just relax and recharge, and I'll come back with fresh new content. But yeah, I'm really excited to continue to keep pushing these episodes out because people are continuing to tune in. So I am grateful for that. Thank you so much. And until next time, everyone, goodbye.